Hi there,

I am Clare McAleese, I live in West Yorkshire with my family, and work in financial services as a Service Management Consultant. I am also a certified Life Coach and an ambassador for Neurodiversity in the Workplace.

My Son was diagnosed with ADHD several years ago – and it was only when we were going through his assessment that I realised that the symptoms also applied to me. I put it to the back of my mind, as he was the priority at the time.

Increasing levels of anxiety, resulting in numerous visits to the doctor and also leading to burn out and time off work, finally persuaded me to seek a formal ADHD diagnosis at age 52. I since found that my symptoms were exacerbated by the menopause.

When completing the assessment form, it was like a lightbulb moment. I realised there was a valid reason for the struggles I’d had throughout my life.

I was also asked to provide my old school reports and was quite emotional reading the comments made all those years ago by my teachers such as “Clare must resist urge to chatter”, “she is easily distracted and lacks focus”, “takes too long to settle down”, “not achieving potential”

I am nearly - well lets be honest - always - 'fashionably' late. Don't even attempt to verbally give me directions - thank goodness for sat nav is all I can say. Oh and my brain never seems to switch off, even on the rare occasions I attempt to relax watching TV I'll be googling about the actors or the ending.

I would consider myself highly driven and motivated and function fine day-to-day but struggle with planning + scheduling, perfectionism, procrastination, time-management, emotional regulation and have trouble setting and reaching my goals.

My mind is constantly on the go – it is like it is driven by a motor – this is the hyperactive part for me. I struggle to relax and let go, which leads to frequent bouts of stress, overwhelm and anxiety .

On the plus side, I would say I am quite a visionary , I see the bigger picture and join dots others don't see. I am also quite

determined , and because of my hyperactive mind, once I get set on something I see it through.

This is also blessing as gave me the idea and the drive to create the Female ADHD Network.

I now see my diagnosis as a positive, it has enabled me to look back over my life through a different lens and make sense of it. It seems so obvious looking back.

I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self “It’s OK… It’s not your fault!”

I have since found that my story is not uncommon. In fact, many women are receiving late diagnosis in midlife due to a child being diagnosed with ADHD and recognising the symptoms and / or their symptoms being exacerbated by the menopause, which would previously have been misdiagnosed as anxiety or depression.

Evidence has also shown, that like myself many of the women who are now emerging are professional, skilled, and highly driven, yet underachieved at school.

I am now on HRT and medication for my ADHD which has helped so much. It is not a miracle cure, but I would liken it to putting a pair of glasses on for my mind, and being able to focus.

Receiving the diagnosis spurred me on to start looking for resources, I researched ADHD extensively and learned so much. I was pleased to learn that as well as the more challenging aspects, there are also strengths, known as ‘spiky' profiles.

I set out on a mission to prevent myself burning out again, returning back to work even stronger, and not giving up on my goals. This is something I struggled with massively.

For example, I learnt that working memory is particularly weak in people with ADHD. This affects our ability to stay on track, on time and in control as well as self-regulate and set and achieve goals.

"The importance of working memory is growing within the study ADHD, according to Dr. Russell Barkley, author and clinical professor of psychiatry at Virginia Commonwealth University Medical Centre. He calls working memory your brain’s GPS — an essential system that guides and directs actions, and which is commonly weak in people with ADHD"

Because of that:

"Barkley suggests a strategy called “externalizing” that gets the information out of the brain and into an external environment by transforming both the sensory and the verbal working memory into a physical manifestation"

In simple terms, this means getting the information out of your head using tools + techniques such as time management methods, reminders, prompts, spreadsheets, post it notes etc.

Knowing this meant that I was able to put in place my own systems and strategies to compensate for my weak GPS.

I combined all I'd learned with my desire to achieve my goals and also the step by step process I followed to recover from burn out from learning about my ADHD and prioritising self care through to creating the systems to support me being able to set + work towards my goals and making many improvements in my life.

I realised that I had inadvertently created a process which has helped me transform my life for the better in many ways.

I wanted to share what I'd learned when I was struggling and couldn't find what I was looking for, to help others in a similar position.

I decided to create the Female ADHD Network but wanted this to be about providing a framework underpinned by a support system which would empower professional highly driven women to embrace their strengths and work towards their goals with more confidence.

It's time for us to finally achieve the potential we always knew we were capable of - together!

Clare x